You're very open about your relationship of 2yrs. Is there a downside to everybody knowing? I can only imagine, but I'd like to hear your thoughts...Over the six or so years I’ve been writing this blog, I have written about many of my lovers, sometimes in great detail. I make it a point to never post anything I haven’t said or wouldn’t say to that person’s face. Almost everybody gets a nickname in order to protect his/her privacy. My friends and acquaintances typically respect this enough to refer to people by their nicknames even if they know or suspect their real identities. Even two years later, I still have friends who, upon meeting BB, will discretely whisper to me “This is BB right?”.
Granted, the blog has caused some friction over the years. Everyone thinks it’s hilarious until they recognize themselves in a post, then suddenly it’s not so funny anymore.
It certainly has affected some of my relationships, but I make it a point to warn people: anything that happens to me, anything I do or observe is fair game. That’s the risk you take when you get involved with an artist; you will, inevitably, end up in their “story”--- regardless of their chosen medium (you’ve no idea how many songs about me, both sappy and angry, I’ve had to endure!).
This medium is, first and foremost, an exercise for me. Of course, it has evolved over the years; Formspring has added a new dimension. Over the entire lifetime of the blog, readers have emailed me privately with questions or requests for advice. Those can now be submitted anonymously and answered publicly. One of the things that has always intrigued me the most about this particular medium is reader feedback, whether it be questions, comments or interpretations of what I’ve written--- they are all very revealing of people’s unique filters.
Ultimately though, this is where I practice the craft of writing, the art of writing. It is a 6+ year study and exercise in creating a character and maintaining that same tone and voice, regardless of the subject matter I’m addressing. The Infamous CoatCheck Girl is a one-dimensional character existing in cyberspace. While the posts are based on my real-life experiences they are written from her distinct point of view.
Most of the people who matter to me understand that.
BB has been one of my strongest supporters and advocates where my writing is concerned (one of the many reasons I <3 him!). He understands the difference between the person and the persona. He is also absolutely confident in himself and in our relationship. Of course, BB does present a unique problem, in that he has brought with him an entire audience of his own...an audience predisposed to dislike, criticize, and speculate upon every minute aspect of our relationship. Most of them, however, lack the courage to address it directly and openly so it is a mere buzzing, like that of a fly: annoying but inconsequential. BB has never, and would never ask me to censor myself. If anything, I think he’s rather amused by all the speculation and rumor. It’s been said that the best place to hide something is in plain sight. I am honest about the fact that BB and I have an open relationship--- it’s not something we’re coy about. Nor are either of us shy about our kinks. Posting something like that, however, does not paint a full portrait of who either of us are, so neither of us feels as though our privacy has really been compromised. Speculation and gossip are just that. Despite the buzz, buzz, buzzing the only opinions and points of view that actually matter in this relationship are mine and his. xo, Infamous CoatCheck Girl