12 December 2008

New Skills

As some of you may already know, I started a new job this week. I had been desperately looking for work for months. I was beginning to think I was going to have to take my mother's advice and find a real grown-up job. I'm bi-lingual, intelligent, very capable, and possess varied and valuable job skills, but the straight 9-5 world just didn't want me. It was so frustrating to think that none of those things were enough to keep me financially afloat , yet--- were I willing to go the route--- I could lease my feminine charms by the hour and make decent money. That's just not an option for me.

So where did I finally find a bit of succor and hope? A hellishly-themed night club, a hedonist playground where excess and debauchery are exalted. One friend messaged me earlier when I commented on the irony of this. She wrote:

"Don't fight ur destiny, sweetie"


It is there that I've been welcomed with respect, trust, and my very own shiny new desk from IKEA.

I'm grateful to have a job, but even more so, a job where many of the various skills I have picked up along the way, are being challenged and put to good use. Finally. Those little things that I've done over the years as "favors" for friends--- booking shows, managing bands, writing press releases and bios, networking, PR--- I'll finally be getting paid for doing them.
I'm even picking up a couple of new things.

When the new boss-man asked me if I knew Photoshop I said "Suuure..."
I do most of my photo editing in LightRoom. Sure, I can go into PS and take out a blemish or do some color or contrast adjustments, but I've never designed anything with the program. Well, there's nothing like trial by fire, right? It just so happened the the next poster which needed to be done was for a friend, very dear to my heart, who is playing there on there on the 27th of this month. it seemed rather fitting and a bit of an honor, but the pressure is definitely on.

I enlisted the help of my friend Kevin as real-time tech support over the phone. He was pretty patient, though his instructions were occasionally punctuated with an exasperated "Stop clicking on stuff!"

It took me about about four hours altogether. I cringe and apologize profusely. I'm sure to offend the delicate design sensibilities of Mr. Lloyd and a few other friends of mine who are absolutely brilliant designers. Yes, lame font. I know. Yes, the kerning is probably off and I likely used every design cliché that a fledgling designer probably could. But...baby steps, right?
I'm rather proud to be learning a new skill.

So here it is, my very first poster design ever:

All Content Copyright 2008, Juliana Tobón. All Rights Reserved

07 December 2008

A Meditation on Autumn Colors

Autumn night, wet and sultry,
and I’m picking my way over
a slick yellow carpet of leaves.
I’m walking east-side,
past moss-covered grave stones,
watching the twilight fall.

I almost stop.

See her coming out of the gloom.
Brown leather trench sweepin’ her thigh,
calf-skin wrapped to her knees,
corn-silk curls spilling
from a brick-red beret.

Boot-heels giving a certain spring,
A certain swing to her step.
Red glove clasping her umbrella,
Wrist turned out just so.

American women do not move like this.

Tall and sure,
Smirk tugging at her lip,
Sidelong glance as she pass by
Reminding me of some
70’s French movie star.

My breath explodes out.
Didn’t even realize I’d been holding it.

All Content Copyright 2008, Juliana Tobón. All Rights Reserved

05 December 2008

Perfect Pitch

“Is the tool-box real?” he asked me. He wasn’t sure if it was just part of the myth.

”Oh, it’s real, alright. C’mon, I’ll show you.” and led him down the hall to my room.
”This,” I said straining as I picked it up, ”is the Infamous toolbox!”
It landed with a heavy thud at his feet.

I’ve alluded to my tool box in past blogs and it is featured in some recent photos. For those of you not in the know, I keep my sex toys in a heavy-duty, bright red Husky Tool Box.

He opened it up and his eyes lit up…like a kid in a…well, toy store.
Admittedly, my collection grew considerably this summer while I briefly dabbled in throwing sex-toy parties.
Not all of the new additions are things I would personally use, mind you. The red 12-inch jelly double dong? Where do I start? Nasty pthalates, and terribly impractical design, for solo or partner play--- the angle is just all wrong--- but it is a good conversation piece.

“What’s this?” he asked holding up a slim rainbow colored case.

“Ah, that’s The Lifesaver. Just a small vibrator,” I said, taking it out of its case and rotating the base. “Hmm. Batteries must be dead.” I shrugged, returned it to its case, and back to the box.

He continued sorting through things, some still in their packaging.
After answering a few more questions regarding the functions of some of the items, and watching him paw at my strap-on and the cordless Rabbit, I felt it was time to pack things up and usher him back to the living room.

We’d been chatting for what seemed like quite a while. I walked to my bathroom in the back of the house and realized I had been hearing an odd and rather pervasive noise for quite some time. It sounded like there was construction going on a few blocks away. I’ve heard similar sounds in the neighborhood, but never so late.

”Do you hear that sound?” I asked, walking back into the room.

“Yeah, I can tell you it’s a D and an E, but I can’t figure out what’s making it.”

We left that little mystery unsolved and talked about perfect pitch and gossip and other things until exhaustion and illness got the better of me.
After seeing him to the door, I walked back to the office and all that time I could still hear that noise, a sort of distant hum.
It finally dawned on me that it was most audible in the hallway…more so close to my room…could it be?
I put my hand to the side of the tool box by my bed and sure enough, it was warm and purring.

I searched for the culprit, which was none other than, you guessed it, The Lifesaver.
Well, now I know the batteries work!

The next day I told my house mate about the little mystery.

“Is that what I heard? It was like 3 or 4 in the morning! I woke up and I heard this really loud buzzing sound…”

*note to self: do not use Lifesaver while room mate is in the next room---or in the house. At all.

(Just a peek!)

Photo © Kenneth Barton, 2008. All Rights Reserved.

All Content Copyright 2008, Juliana Tobón. All Rights Reserved