02 January 2008

Snow White vs. The Tranny

Snow White and I had decided to play the Seattle trip by ear, particularly in regards to New Year's Eve. He'd looked up several events happening that night, and we thought we would just pick one or two. Frankly, some of his recommendations held little appeal for me---The W, The Seattle Symphony... Events that sounded like I'd be dodging diaper-clad octegenerians and their walkers. I wanted something smaller and nice (but not black-tie), and where I wasn't half the age of everyone else there.
We grabbed a Seattle Weekly and read through the listings together. I found one that sounded perfect. Cafe Amore: masquerade ball, belly dancers, burlesque, rockabilly band, 4-course meal. We looked at a few more, but kept coming back to that one. I had a good feeling about it.
I was right.
We arrived at this wonderful little restaurant in Belltown around eight o'clock, all dolled up and ready for what the night might bring. It wasn't much of a masquerade ball, since they'd had some issues with the masks they'd promised, but it was a lovely place. The staff was really friendly and very passionate about the food, which is all made from fresh local, mostly organic ingredients.
Before too long we'd befriended a majority of the staff, who occasionally stopped to dance with the patrons. At one point, I had returned from a smoking excursion outside and found our table empty. Snow White was chatting with Johnny Rocket, singer from the Hot Roddin' Romeos, between one of their sets.
As they approached the table I heard Johnny telling Snow White "It's an honor man, really an honor to meet you!"
He was very gracious as we were introduced, but clearly a bit awed to be talking to Snow White, so after exchanging some pleasantries they wandered off again to chat. When SW finally returned to the table, I asked him what that was all about. It seems Mr. Rocket and a couple of other members of the band had recognized him from his band days.

"Are you serious? Are you that recognizable?" I asked incredulously. For all I knew, he'd slipped the guy a $20 to make a fuss. "C'mon! Just tell me the name of the stupid band! You've told my friends, you've told my brother...now this guy..."

"I'll give you a hint. It was named for a Disney movie" he replied coyly.

I guessed on the first try and almost shot wine out my nose from laughing so hard. Really, his blog nick-name was mere chance, but I was absolutely tickled at the coincidence.
I finally regained my composure and got back to watching the performers, sipping my wine and chatting with my date. It was really a wonderful night. I even got coaxed into dancing, since Johnny dedicated a song to us, announcing Snow White's former musical associations, much to my amusement.
It seemed like it would be a lovely night to remember.
We left around 3 or 3:30 and walked to another club Snow White had heard about which featured burlesque performances. It was, predictably, closed. As we stood outside the door debating what to do, we were approached by a tall, very drunk figure.
She stumbled on hir heels and practically fell into us as she wished us a Happy New Year, asking us what we were up to. She'd been ditched by hir friends and was looking for somewhere to go. We were heading back to Amore to ask if there was an after-hours event anywhere.

"Can I come with you guys?" she asked barely keeping hir balance.

"Sure!" "Of course!" we replied in unison, and with our new companion propped up between us, we wandered back to the restaurant.
And so we met the fabulous Sophia.
I was happy because I had a new "girlfriend". As we walked, we admired each other's outfits. She wore a lovely veiled pill-box hat and a fur stole and the new shoes she had just bought in New York. Those patent pumps had vexed hir all night. Ah, how "girls" will suffer for fashion!
We chatted all the way to the Five Point, a 24-hour joint where we'd been directed by the opera-singing door man at Amore. Sophia and I got cozy as we sat in a booth across from Snow White. We giggled and made small talk and ate our greasy food. Our companion got noticeably quiet, but I figured he would tell me when he was ready to go.
Sophia pointed out that he looked grumpy, but I dismissed it, making my usual jokes about his age, until he abruptly made it clear he was ready to go. With a quick peck and another round of "You're fabulous!" "No, you're fabulous!", I bid Sophia goodnight, and ran out to find SW sitting on a bench outside.

"Hey...!" I began.

"No one has ever done that to me" he yelled, standing up.

"What?" I was startled. I didn't know where such anger was coming from and I am not accustomed to being yelled at.

"Come on, let's walk." People were looking in our direction and I did not want a scene but I hesitated for a moment, before I started to follow him.

"No one has ever done that to me!" he yelled again.

"What the hell are you talking about? What did I do?" I asked, genuinely puzzled.

"You know what you did, what you said...you and that fucking faggot!" he spat venomously.

"What! Don't call him that! Wait...what?..."

"What you said...you and that fucking faggot!..." he continued.

I didn't know what upset me more, whether the fact that he was yelling at me for some slight I could not determine or the fact that he was showing himself to be such a homophobic prick.
The last was a real surprise. His supposed best friend is gay. When he had told me about his best friend, I had detected a tone that reminded me of people in Myrtle Creek when they said things like "I'm not racist, I like Mexicans."--- but I had dismissed it. I had chalked it up to a generational thing, maybe they joked around with each other like that. I didn't think they would be as close as he purported them to be, if he was such a homophobe.
He continued to insist, yelling all the way, that I knew what I had said or done. I racked my brain, thinking that I had made the same little jabs I always make, teasing him about the age difference, but that was all I could think of.
I was also a little fearful, realizing that I really didn't know this man. I was seeing a whole new side to him, an anger I didn't know existed. It crossed my mind that this new person who had emerged that night might be capable of physical violence and I wouldn't even be aware of it.

"You can bet we're taking the train back home tomorrow!" he snarled, before finally falling silent.

Once at the hotel, he cleared the day bed in our room and moved there for the night. I changed into some jeans and went for a walk. It's a horrible neighborhood, especially at that hour, but I didn't care. It actually seemed a better alternative to being in a room with him.
So, it was just me and the crack heads.
The thing about me when I'm that angry is that it comes off me in waves. Even the crack heads will cross the street to avoid me when I'm in that state. The few who would make eye contact with me, would quickly look away.
I finally got back to the hotel, packed my bags and looked through his things for my return ticket. Even as furious as I was, I couldn't bring myself to rifle through his things too much, so I couldn't find it. I settled in to sleep for a few hours.
In the morning, I could tell he was awake on the other bed, but pretending to sleep. I dressed and went into the dining area to eat breakfast. When I returned to the room, he was gone, but there was some money and a ticket on top of my purse. I gathered my things, showered, and had the concierge call me a cab after we'd looked up departure times for the train, but not before leaving Snow White with a parting thought.

It had to be something to which he could relate, something simple and to the point, so I chose from his own words.

I set his Scrabble board out on the bed and carefully arranged my letters:

D-I-C-K


All Content Copyright 2008, Juliana Tobón. All Rights Reserved

1 comment:

  1. I just have to post the original comments from myspace. They're too good!



    Serena Markstrom


    you're the coolest girl i've never met.

    Posted by Serena's twitter.com/rgticket on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 2:57 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Thanks, Doll!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:39 PM


    Jεηηιε♥


    Wow.
    It's so unsettling how people can have crazy other sides like that. Probably even more unsettling that people can find it so easy to hate someone they know so little about.
    I'm glad to hear you're safe... sounds like quite an adventure.

    Posted by Jεηηιε♥ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 3:06 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Well, thanks, hon. Yeah, it sort of came out of nowhere.
    I expect some eccentricities from people with an artistic temperament. Also, when I am in an "open" situation (dating other people, as I was), I tend to be more lenient toward each lover, knowing one lover may have some of the qualities lacking in another.

    I expected insecurity. So many artists, especially ones so outwardly gregarious, hide deep insecurities. Such vitriol, however, I did not expect.

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:00 PM


    Christine


    WHOA! That's why I love you so much, you stick up for yourself and don't put up with other people's shit.

    Posted by Christine on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 3:21 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Thanks, love! It's nice to know I have the support of friends like you, but when it comes down to it, if I were not willing to stand up for myself, I couldn't very well expect you guys to, either.

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:07 PM


    Our Lady of the Immaculate Mania


    awe the amazing boundless insecuries of the inflated male ego. The silly power trips where they pretend not to show off, but then tell EVERYONE of their talents or 'old band days'. When exactly did men start acting like the moody and irrational women they like to exaggerate and talk shit about? Probably when they started to where jeans which actually fit them again, borrowed from our closets. Its a shame. I like them in fitted jeans, but perhaps I should take that as an early warning sign of possible PMS behavior. Good riddance. Congratulations on ringing in the new year AWARE and RID of your aging rocker. I'd have preferred Sophia as well.

    Posted by Our Lady of the Immaculate Mania on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 3:36 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Your comment cracked me up! So spot on, so funny. I do have a couple of guy friends who insist that the secret to overcoming the majority to my relationship woes is to stop dating boys who wear girls' jeans. Kudos to you, my dear!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 3:44 PM


    Sasha


    ok, i didn't think it could get worse than the first part, but DAMN!

    sorry, hun, i am sorry you had to go through that. but... you're better off without a dick... LOL! :)

    love you lots. big warm hugs.

    Posted by Sasha on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 4:02 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Love you too, sweetie! Warm hugs back at you!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:09 PM


    . e,la;ine


    Dumbo? i give up...

    this takes a lot of pressure off future 2008 dates, they can only go up from here.

    Posted by . e,la;ine on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:01 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Amen, Sister!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:38 PM


    Marc


    After the Fucking Faggot comment you should have just told Mr.Exrockstar to go suck a fuck and turned around to hang with Sophia .
    But what I am really puzzled by, is that usually I would exept some sign of
    arrogant behaviour, previous to the Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde outburst, something the intuitive Juliana would have picked up on. I mean were there nowarning signs before this? Or does wild abandon trump intuition when it comes to relationships?
    But then again where would I get my blog fix if you were to settle down.

    Posted by Marc on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:02 PM

    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Sure there was arrogance, but there's a difference between arrogance and...well you said it best: Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
    Like I wrote in an earlier comment, it wasn't a serious, monogamous relationship. I'm more lenient with lovers than I am with boyfriends.
    Don't worry, you'll have more blogs to read. I'm not settling down yet!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:19

    Sarah Peterson


    It still sounds better than what I did on New Years eve.... Lets just say it involves a nasty cold and a vomiting child... ugh...

    Posted by Sarah Peterson on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:03 PM
    [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]
    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Yuck! I'm sorry...but yeah, mine still sounds like more fun. Hope you're all better now!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:21 PM


    [ninjaphoto]
    Kenji Mizumori


    Sounds like quite the adventure! The only thing missing would be a picture of said scrabble letters on the table. That would be lovely.

    Posted by [ninjaphoto] on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:04 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Ha ha! My fellow photographer...Well, for once I didn't have my camera, but trust me, I thought about it too!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:13 PM


    Buffy The Douchebag Slayer


    If you ever decide you want to settle down, consider this a standing marriage proposal. ;)

    Posted by Buffy The Douchebag Slayer on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:04 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    It'll be the first call I make, hot stuff!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:24 PM


    Silverhawk


    Turns out you're "Nobody's Fool" and he'll have to go into the night "singing night songs."...."shake it till yuo break it baby"..druufrrj

    Posted by Silverhawk on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 8:33 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    I have no words...I'm still laughing!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:27 PM


    Buffy The Douchebag Slayer


    Oh my god. It's not....that hair band.... Is it???

    Posted by Buffy The Douchebag Slayer on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 9:59 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    I'm afraid so...

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 10:06 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    The funny thing about all this, if it can indeed be described as funny, is that I still don't know what I supposedly did.

    On New Year's Day, while on the train back, I received a text from him that read "Like you, all I wanted was an apology, and that's mr. dick"

    Yeah, I'm as puzzled as the rest of you...

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 2, 2008 - Wednesday - 10:27 PM


    chalkys_explorer


    "Rock Stars" will be the death of you. Some of us do grow up though. Keep the faith:)

    Posted by chalkys_explorer on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 12:32 AM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Darling, it's my unflappable faith that keeps getting me into these scrapes!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 12:36 AM



    spyrit


    you're an angel that must have titanium wings...

    Posted by spyrit on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 12:47 PM


    Mike


    What are the odds your nickname for your aging butt rocker would be so close to the actual
    name of his band??!

    I wouldn't say that his "issues" are unique to musicians though.
    A tool is a tool no matter what walk of life they come from...

    Posted by Mike on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 1:17 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Excellent point...unfortunately there seems to be a preponderance of them in the arts...No offense to you, my dear...I'm sure you're an absolute darling!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 1:26 PM


    My name is Allen


    oh. my. gawd.
    i don't know what i could possibly add to the foregoing, but THAT's an excellent story! triple word score!
    boys are stupid.
    throw rocks at them.

    Posted by My name is Allen on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 2:21 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Boys are stupid...no matter what their age.
    Where are the men?

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 2:27 PM


    marc


    Maybe he just got confused and his daddy didn't teach him better. He probably said to himself, "I'll treat her like crap. Then she will really like me. Ya, ya, it worked in first grade kinda.."

    He probably now expects you to call him. After all, in his world view dumping your date in the middle of a strange city is what the ladies really like. He's probably planning to wear a white T-shirt on the next date.

    P.S. Maybe he should name his next band "Dumbo."

    Posted by marc on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 9:55 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    He did text me that he wanted an apology...
    I don't know what made me laugh more: reading that text or reading your comment.

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 3, 2008 - Thursday - 10:15 PM


    Evan



    So wait? Did I miss it? What did you do that upset him to that point? Was it flirting with your tranny friend?

    I think there are times where yelling can be totally understandable. But still, I don't get it here. Sounds like he had a bunch of bottled up stuff, most likely relating to your non-monogamous ways, that probably was triggered by some smaller item, like flirting with a "fucking faggot."

    He seemed nice enough; but, I guess seeing people through an increasingly wide array of experiences is how we discover the ways in which we're compatible and/or not. Now you know.

    Also, while it might be a little irrational or unfair, I have almost NO respect for anything resembling the "if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" thing. Seriously, I'm pretty docile, but that makes my blood boil.

    Posted by Evan on January 6, 2008 - Sunday - 3:56 AM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    No, you didn't miss it...I still don't know what I supposedly did or said. All he would say is "You know what you said, you and that fucking faggot..."
    And no, yelling at me is never ok. Being upset is fine, talking about it like adults it is fine...yelling at me in the middle of the street, especially in a strange town where I have no place else to go---not ok.

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 6, 2008 - Sunday - 4:04 AM


    wrongjeremy


    You can bet he's pretty confused after so many years of being a Corporate Tranny. I think this situation got him out of his comfort zone. He spent his career being dolled up (hair, make-up and women's clothes) by the creme de la creme of gay fashion, as per the instructions of the record company. Along with the resultant fame, fortune and girls also came a great deal of derision.

    Homophobia, racism, sexism, etc. are all subsets of tribalism. A lot of times those terms don't fit so well. You see people make exceptions, which may seem curious and hypocritical, but really aren't when viewed more broadly as tribalism. An individual can prove himself worthy and be accepted into the tribe, while the general level of ignorance, prejudice and fear of the outside group remain intact. I have no doubt this guy became close friends with one of his handlers, but that wasn't enough to fully enlighten him, was it?

    Now I wonder how *my* team did in sports today...

    Posted by wrongjeremy on January 7, 2008 - Monday - 8:30 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Ha ha! I was wondering when you would to chime in! Something told me you'd have something to say on this one. Well put, sir, as always!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 7, 2008 - Monday - 9:24 PM


    x


    I think there is a good chance that Snow Whites homophobia is actually a cover-up for his "interest" in this tranny Sophia. Really, why would he be so upset if something he felt about him/her had not triggered something that made him question himself, something that had caused him to feel uncomfortable with himself. Unless he was abused by a "tranny" as a child, I would bet he will look in to the matter deeper, that this "little dark secret" of his may yet play its self out futher. I know that I could go hang with a drag queen with a gerbal fetish all night and not bat an eyelash, have a great time cause I'm comfortable with who I am. Maybe Snow White is at home, logged in, and surfing for she-male porn as we speek.

    Posted by x on January 9, 2008 - Wednesday - 2:32 AM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    Sophia called me a couple of days ago to ask me what had become of us that night. I had to fill her in on the rest of the story. She said she wondered why he seemed so tense, and that he wouldn't even look at her much less talk to her once we got to the Five Point.
    I think he was just pouting because he wasn't getting enough attention---whether he wanted it from me or Sophia is anyone's guess!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 9, 2008 - Wednesday - 2:45 AM


    Andy


    Studies suggest that one of the side effects of viagra is uncontrollable rage.

    Posted by Andy on January 22, 2008 - Tuesday - 12:56 PM


    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    You so rock!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 22, 2008 - Tuesday - 4:22 PM
    [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]
    Infamous CoatCheck Girl™


    One friend, who wished to remain anonymous, suggested that i change his nickname from Snow White to that of the 8th dwarf---Quickie.
    Haha...i love my friends!

    Posted by Infamous CoatCheck Girl™ on January 24, 2008 - Thursday - 2:12 AM

    ReplyDelete

Share your thoughts, darling!