My brother, his girlfriend and her brother had gone to the show with me.
Em was right.
I watched, fascinated.
I had thought him sexy before, having seen him play back in my days as a coat check girl at Ohm. But then I was only admiring from afar---I had but an inkling of who he might be.
As he played tonight, I thought I caught his eye---sexy song, sexy boy, sexy...instrument--- it was almost too much. I feared I might have to peel myself from my chair. That's when Em interjected. I blushed. My whole body was abuzz .
A few close friends have commented of late that they have never known me to show such restraint. I am typically relentless in my pursuit. When somebody piques my interest I let them know it. Let's face it---few men really require a lot of coaxing from a beautiful woman anyway.
I find myself on new territory with this one.
We reconnected while I was still with Snow White, and he made it clear he didn't want to be part of a polyamorous situation. I have a lot of respect for somebody who has his ideals and sticks to them. I was, and am, determined to be respectful of them as well. Still, he is somebody I have wanted to get to know for a long time. Since I returned from Seattle unencumbered, we have been spending more time together.
He has been the consumate gentleman, sweet and kind.
I knew a real test would be bringing him around the "familee", so I invited him to the first week of Auditory Sculpture's new residency at Ohm last Tuesday.
I am very protective of these people. We are all protective of each other. Bringing in outsiders is always a little tricky. Frankly, I was still embarrassed by a recent interloper's awkward attempts to ingratiate himself to the group---offers for favors, an internship in an architectural firm, a meeting with a record label exec, a custom tattoo design---all within minutes of his introduction...
The new boy played nice.
He handled the good-natured ribbing graciously and even gave it right back. Whether it was due to something I said, or blogged, or the mere fact that I found myself minus one "aging rocker dude", he seemed to have let his guard down around me as well. Our interactions to that point had been so reserved and proper that his flirtatious and sassy comments that night had me blushing.
This self-restraint thing is not easy, especially in light of such spirited repartee.
Along with the banter, there emerged an easy, friendly affection. I realized that night how much I was missing that sort of thing. I'm pretty fortunate to have a group of friends that is pretty physically affectionate. We hug, we grope, and we sometimes even make out, but it's all in good friendly fun. It has been a while, though, since I could just enjoy sweet, innocent physical affection with a guy I like, without worrying whether his next move includes diving into my pants.
Due to my self-imposed deprivation, I am rediscovering the joys of simple contact---holding hands, spooning on the couch, the contact of thigh to thigh in a restaurant booth, his hand on the small of my back in a crowded club---and it's also been driving me crazy!
I'm usually not shy about making the first move, but...almost a month, and not a single kiss...until last night.
Worth the wait?
I think too many people forget the joys of making out like hormonal teenagers, as they get older---making out on the couch until your lips are almost numb and your face is raw and your clothes are so twisted that you're practically wearing them backwards...mmm...
"You feel really warm" he said, moving the comforter aside.
"Well...uhm...I kind of have a lot of stored up...energy..." I replied sheepishly.
"You've gone exothermic!" he grinned.
I kissed him with renewed vigor.
Any man who can incorporate a word like "exothermic" into his make-out banter deserves all the respect and restraint I can muster.
He says he still wants to take it slowly.
I have no particular destination or schedule in mind---I'm just thoroughly enjoying the ride!