It was 10:30 on a Friday night.
"Washing my dishes" I replied ruefully. While the fact that I was even washing dishes is probably one for the record books, it didn't make for a terribly exciting evening.
"Wow, I thought you'd be too cool to be staying at home on a Friday night," he told me after stopping by to vent his frustrations about girls.
I don't know how "coolness" factors in, but the truth is I'm in one of my rather antisocial phases. The only nights I go out are when I have somewhere specific to be, a specific show to see. I've also been spending a lot of time on the phone.
"Are you gonna phone me and leave me, or are we gonna talk again?" the Lonestar Pony had asked after that first night we talked.
I guess I'm not a phone 'em-and-leave 'em kind of girl, because we've talked on the phone every day since.
I've never been one for the long-distance affairs. There isn't really a point, as far as I'm concerned. Sure, phone sex is fun, but I can masturbate just as well without somebody on the other end of the line. I have written before that I'm very much an out-of-sight, out-of-mind kind of person. I have most recently been involved with a couple of lovers who were from out of town. The affairs ended simply because they left. We maintain the occasional friendly communication, but it is not a continuation of what we had here.
It's interesting to get to know somebody that I've never met in person. Over the last several months I have not really bothered to get to know my lovers, with the exception of the Leo Couple. With the others, I could tell their favorite bedroom pastimes, but would be hard pressed to tell their favorite color or where they were born.
And now I find myself--- between rounds of phone sex--- discussing political, religious and philosophical views with this person, as well as those little mundane personal details that I have tended to ignore of late.
He's the first person I have really bothered to get to know in a while, and he lives across the country. It has been a study of contrasts too. Despite all the raunchy phone sex, he is also kind of old-fashioned in many ways. On the second or third time we spoke, he suggested that we begin an old-fashioned mail correspondence, an epistolary courtship. He is in the process of moving, so we have yet to begin said correspondence, but I am looking forward to it.
I have arrived at a point where I think it would be nice to have somebody with whom to curl up on the couch to watch a movie, or who will spoil me, and be spoiled by me. Unfortunately this always seems to come with commitment, though I don't see what one necessarily has to do with the other. Still, sex is not hard to come by (come on, I'm a reasonably attractive girl!), while all the other stuff a little more so. I've had plenty of the former...it might be nice to open myself to the possibility of the latter.
The Lonestar Pony is a good first step. Sure I'm easing into it by choosing somebody that lives in another state, but it's all forward progress, no matter how small.
This is courtship, for courtship's sake...and I can definitely use the practice. A few nights ago, we were chatting on the phone and I realized I was talking about phlegm---in the context of Traditional Chinese Medicine, but still...phlegm. Hot, I know. Now you know my secret, ladies.
He has also challenged me on several levels, made me rethink some preconceived notions I didn't even realize I had.
After one particularly long conversation that took us in to the wee hours of the morning, he said "I should try to get a couple of hours of sleep before I go to Mass in the morning."
"Really?"I asked in disbelief.
He goes every Sunday. He also gave me the best answer I have ever heard for going to church or participating in any sort of organized religion.
"It makes me feel centered."
That simple. No other justification or explanation.
I do wonder how long something like this can sustain itself. Sweet nothings whispered over the phone are nice and all, but let's face it--- I still need some real life lovin'. We have talked about a visit, but what then? Either reality will rend our carefully crafted fantasy and it'll be a very long visit, or we'll hit it off and the time will fly all too quickly, leaving us wanting more. I don't know which holds more dread at this point.
I posed the question to him and he gave me the type of answer I would normally give. Enjoy it now for what it is and worry about later...later.
That just tells me I need to find a job---I have way too much time on my hands to think, to stress about details I normally would not give a second thought.
In the meantime, I am spending a lot of quality alone time. Not just that kind, you perverts. I've been doing a lot of yoga and cooking some wonderful meals for myself, the hot wife and her boyfriend. I have also been discovering some fun new music. One new discovery is Alex Karweit, from San Francisco. My friend Jeff Anthony blogged about this new album and referred to it as one of the best he's ever played on. That's high praise coming from him, considering all of the stuff he's done.
The song "L.A." in particular caught my attention. It encapsulates all of the trepidations that I had about that city.